Invisibility sounds good to me too

One of the best and the worst things about living in Bermuda is the lack of anonymity. After you’ve been living here for a while it becomes almost impossible to leave your house without running into someone you know.

There are times when this can be nice and there are times when this can be a pain in the ass, particularly for people with as little patience as me. The simplest errands can become irritatingly prolonged, as you’re obliged to stop for five minutes to exchange pleasantries with those you encounter.

You’re not even safe while driving in your car. Friends and family expect you to keep an eye out for them and give them a friendly toot as you pass. Even if you keep your gaze fixed on the vehicle in front, there’s no guarantee that someone you know isn’t watching you.

I first discovered this when driving to work with a cold one day last year. To avoid having to wipe my runny nose all the time, I'd stuffed a tissue into my nostrils and left it hanging there as I drove along. (Aw, c'mon. I’m sure you’ve got some bad habits too).

That night my wife told me that the man stationed on the pedestrian crossing outside her school had asked her whether the two of us had been fighting. He’d seen me drive past and had thought that my wife had punched me and given me a nosebleed.

Then this morning I made the mistake of driving in listening to the Ricky Gervais Show, doing my best not to have an accident because of the tears of laughter streaming down my face. I got home tonight to discover that one of the teachers with whom my wife works had seen me laughing silently as I drove past him at Flatts. Apparently I made for an amusing sight.

As it happens, I’d been laughing at a skit where Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant were asking co-host Karl Pilkington what superhero power he’d like to have. Karl eventually plumped for invisibility. That sounds pretty good to me too.

Comments

[Rincewind on 05.01.06 at 20:59]

Uncle Elvis, that is a good bit of Disc world logic

[Tim Taylor on 05.01.06 at 21:04]

Oh, poop.
I forgot you know me, Uncle.
Well, it was a good try.
Incidentally, would anybody like to contribute stories of way old relatives as whole different thread? It just seems to me that many of our recently arrived friends could benefit from hearing the down 'n dirty about what life was like back when, which would help to explain why we're all so crazy. I've got a whole bunch of stories about the Watingtons and Dills, for example.

[Ethiops on 05.01.06 at 21:13]

Once I was sitting off on the beach side with my boy. He’s wheelchair bound so we where there having a few cold ones enjoying the sites a beautiful Bermuda beach could offer. All of a sudden this guy comes riding across and hails him, he hailed back, end of story. Minutes pass and the guy who obviously just went up the road to the store and back, toots again with his chops exposed grinning. Looking at my boy I could see the grimace behind his demi-smile and his hand that was raised to a, whoa, hold up, take it easy position. We got back to fixing peoples problems by escaping our own to be disturbed not even five minutes later by the same guy, who came back through tooting and smiling like he’d just found the lord. My boy turned his head while looking at me in awe and disgust and said “I know this fool don’t want me Hi to him again, don I don’t even know yah boy”.

[Uncle Elvis on 05.01.06 at 21:32]

Tim, I have several stories, relayed to me by friends and family, that I'd be willing to submit. I may have to change some of the names to protect the not-so-innocent, but...

[blovator on 05.01.06 at 22:14]

When Bermudians leave the island I think they divide like ameba. They're everywhere!

[Turtle on 05.01.06 at 22:44]

Then there's the story about the Bermudian in Paris, who felt anonymous (and was quite enjoying it) until he heard a voice address him with the words "Qu'est que c'est, bye?".

[Uncle Elvis on 05.01.06 at 23:06]

""Qu'est que c'est, bye?""

Chris! You just got the name of your next album!

[Amin Swan on 05.01.06 at 23:29]

Ok to be honest, you all know that when you travel, the thought of Bermudians being somewhere around crosses our minds. And as retarded as this may sound, I think many Bermudians have this keen sense to sniff each other out. With a population of 65,000 you would think that would be like finding that needle in the haystack.

[Walla on 06.01.06 at 15:30]

Similar to a previous post - i was in a tiny town in the Lake District in England (Im talking 2 pubs and a post office). Walk into the first one to get a drink, being a fussy Bermudian bye my heart sank when i saw their rack, one vodka, one gin, etc. I was gob smacked to see that their one rum was black!! Needless to say i drank the whole bottle with my mates.

[Bill Akin on 07.01.06 at 11:14]

Eight years ago in a bit of a panic I booked a package deal in Bermuda for my wifes birthday, long weekend at GB. Now we have many friends on the Bermuda Islands. Now every one we know in the old town and in the N.E. is able to ask around and find us. Nice to have a second home.
Best to all, Bill & Bena

[kristen sousa on 09.01.06 at 10:43]

I once asked someone for directions in Barnstaple, Devon (UK) and the woman ended up being the widow of a Bermudian. That was a bit astonishing to me.

P.S. Where do they sell Black Seal Rum in the U.K.? My boyfriends roomies are itching for more!

[Two Cents on 09.01.06 at 11:08]

Kristen,

Check out http://www.goslingsrum.com/

There you will find a list of U.K distributors & retailers

[Slowhand on 11.01.06 at 22:55]

My father, on a trip to Austrailia to visit his family (originally from Bermuda), flying from New Zealand to Sydney Austrailia, ran into a 'steward' on the flight that was not only from Bermuda, but from Beacon Hill rd in Somerset, our neighborhood.

We also went on a trip to Victoria BC, and drove back from Vancouver to Calgary over the Rockies. We were able to stop over at 3 different homes of Bermudians (no need for hotels)all of whom were friends of our family. (not a chance meeting, but if there are that many there that we know personally, how many more are there?)