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This week's caption competition is taking tea with Premier Alex Scott and British Ambassador to the US, Sir David Manning, at the latter's official residence in Washington DC.
Photoshop entries are also welcomed and should be emailed to me.
Winners will be announced on Sunday.
Part of the OTB Caption Jam.
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Archives By Category
Scott: "So how many house n*****s do you have here?"
Posted by Ignoranceisbliss on 19.05.06 at 05:29
"I'm sorry, but who are you again?"
Posted by Adjustah on 19.05.06 at 07:04
" Do you mind if I dunk?"
Posted by JJ on 19.05.06 at 07:17
Scott: "So tell me again how you achieved independence from Britain?"
Posted by Martin on 19.05.06 at 07:30
Scott: "Yes, we have a great deal in common with the US. Racial reconciliation for one".
Posted by Martin on 19.05.06 at 07:39
Scott: Now, gentleman, I wonder if you can take care of that Limey blighter for me. A bit of a problem is that lad. Look, after my glorious independence, I'll agree to keep wearing the silly hat with the plumes if you'll just take him back.
Posted by Tiger Bay on 19.05.06 at 08:14
No no no seriously, guess how much I spent on my residence. I mean this place is alright, but guys really, the curtains? Faded couches? Honestly I'm sure the tax payers don't mind, back in Bermuda they encourage us to show decadence!
Posted by lost in flatts on 19.05.06 at 08:14
So come on, do I get to meet Condee? I came all this way, she's so hot! That gal's got pop AND sizzle! Keep that sonofagun Ewart away from her!
Posted by Tiger Bay on 19.05.06 at 08:22
Pundit meets Fullofit
Posted by Adjustah on 19.05.06 at 08:26
Alex thinking - "Damn! They all look like Tonny Brannon!"
Posted by Full Fullish on 19.05.06 at 08:27
Scott thinking to himself: Gawd this silence is awkward, well... they dont look like me, sound like me...
"how about those Braves aye."
Posted by Walla on 19.05.06 at 08:35
Alex: After Independence it's going to be more difficult to work across de pond, so could you guys ease us up a bit, you know relax that convicted criminal thing. I'm sure we could work out a vacation at my place, the decor is far superior to this.
Posted by Ali on 19.05.06 at 08:45
Alex, at first, appeared deep in thought, but after a minute went by without him saying anyhting intellegent, it became painfully obvious that pinocchio was indeed still a puppet.
Posted by Full Fullish on 19.05.06 at 08:50
All eyes were on the Premier, and people began to edge away after he accidentally farted.
Posted by silencedogood on 19.05.06 at 08:59
Alex realised that he wasn't like anyone else is the room when it dawned on him that he was the only one without his legs crossed.
Posted by Full Fullish on 19.05.06 at 09:02
Others in the room waited patiently for Alex Scott to complete his thought...forchrissakes man can't you coherently finish one thought?! Hurry it on up, we've got to move three more visiting "partners in democracy" through here before lunch!!!!
Posted by Zoom on 19.05.06 at 09:02
Alex started to worry that once again he was about to be mistaken for a "special person" at another overseas conference.
Posted by Full Fullish on 19.05.06 at 09:05
Alex's publicity idea turned for the worst when telling the other ambasadors of his bumper sticker campaign "Honk if you love me", when he accidentally blurted out "Honky Love me!"
Posted by Full Fullish on 19.05.06 at 09:09
Alex: I’ve come over here to complain in person about the Abe Lincoln impersonator you sent us for a consul general.
Posted by Yet Another Limey on 19.05.06 at 09:18
Scott nervously ponders the consequences of the US adding "blundering incompetence" to the stop list criteria.
Posted by Trebliso on 19.05.06 at 09:28
"So, it's a movie, two words, sounds like ... "
Posted by Bundy & Coke on 19.05.06 at 09:35
Alex's Inner Thoughts: "Great, Ewart gets to hang with oil Shieks at the Burj and what do I get? A room full of paleface mofo's and the queen's hand me down furniature. He'll never let me hear the end of this! God, I miss the 70's...If only Buck were here..."
Posted by silencedogood on 19.05.06 at 09:38
Everyone held their breath as they waited to see if Alex would notice the mind control drug added to his tea.
Posted by Yet Another Limey on 19.05.06 at 09:39
In a cultural exchange Alex demonstrates the Bermudian tea ceremony. As he adds the eighth sugar he explains that historians believe the ceremony was first brought to Bermuda by a British Plummer.
Posted by Yet Another Limey on 19.05.06 at 09:40
The head child of the nursery school class has a tea party.
Um Ah, Um Ah, Um Ah, Um Ah.....(I wish I had something intelligent to say. Help me teacher Consulate) Um Ah, Um Ah, Um Ah.........
Posted by VB on 19.05.06 at 09:41
As a warm feeling spread quickly over Alex, he realised with alarm that he had exceeded the "tea tolerance" of his Depends®.
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 09:57
♫ One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same ♫
Posted by Somers on 19.05.06 at 10:00
As David’s hand slowly moved towards him, Alex suddenly remembered saying to Wayne that he could come with him as long as he sat between him and the Ambassador.
Posted by Yet Another Limey on 19.05.06 at 10:06
Honest, it was the UBP that gave them the gunpowder.
Posted by Bill Akin on 19.05.06 at 10:11
In a desperate attempt to say something intelligent and relevant, Alex blurts out "There's only one "T" in Typhoo" ... unsurprizingly this received a similar reaction as his earlier exclamation "Yoo-hoo, Typhoo!"
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 10:13
Alex (trying to break the ice)"so...if Typhoo pu the "T" in "Britain", who put the c__t in "Scunthorpe?"
Posted by JJ on 19.05.06 at 10:36
Sir John (whispering): "No Alex - I said raise your pinky".
Posted by Martin on 19.05.06 at 10:40
Premier thinking: "I'll just keep stirring this tea for a bit longer. I wonder who's bladder will burst first...hehehehe."
Posted by toidi on 19.05.06 at 11:23
"Well gentlemen, he certainly is from another world."
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 11:39
Alex, in response to a question about Bermud'a relations with Cuba
"Cuba? er... no, not Cuba the country..no, no, I meant Cuba Gooding Jr the actor... yes that's the Cuba we're talking about..."
Posted by JJ on 19.05.06 at 11:53
"No gentlemen, I can assure you it was just a small wharf house that the queen had once visited. I did not have Burch tear down Government House. Trust me he's not touching that house anytime soon and only when I need new curtains. Did I say "I", I mean't "it needs new curtains".
The Colonel's great at picking out new curtains you know."
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 11:53
"Take some more tea," the US Consul General said to Alex, very earnestly.
"I've had nothing yet," Alex replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more."
"You mean you can't take less," said the British Ambassador: "it's very easy to take more than nothing."
"Nobody asked your opinion," said Alex.
"Who's making personal remarks now?" the British Ambassador asked triumphantly.
(Excerpted from the official text of "Alex's Adventures in Washington")
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 12:28
Alex takes a moment to ponder "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" before relying on the "Plantation Question" exemption.
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 12:35
"So. Wuz up?"
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 12:57
British ambassador admits his couch is made entirely from Ferrero Rocher wrappers.
Posted by Yet Another Limey on 19.05.06 at 12:58
"So Alex. Where's Furbert?"
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 12:59
Alex: "Oh Jeez, tea again, if we weren't still bloody under dear old England, they might serve something stronger, like a dark and stormy. One more cuppa and I'll puke.
Posted by Linda on 19.05.06 at 13:04
"Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?"
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 13:11
As he took his first sip, the significance of the ambassador's question "Do you Tanqueray?" became clear to Alex.
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 13:12
The last thing on P's mind was: "Why am I the only one who's drinking?"
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 13:16
"Talking about establishing a US Coast Guard base in Bermuda. My Minister of Tourism asked me to find out how many passengers will that add to his qouta?"
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 13:38
"Um.....um....uuummm yew no bye vut um talkin bout"
"Good God, who is this moron?"
Posted by wyrdsister on 19.05.06 at 13:52
Deal or no deal?
Posted by Mike Newburger on 19.05.06 at 14:38
"Independence? Nah I didn't say anything about independence. Don't know what you're talking about. Now about me getting that Starbuck's deal....."
Posted by SmokingGun on 19.05.06 at 14:44
"Where are the interns? ... Ewart assured me there would be interns."
Posted by Darkside on 19.05.06 at 14:48