Terror alert

Police have uncovered an al-Qaeda cell that was actively planning terrorist attacks in Bermuda, Immigration Minister Derrick Burgess said last night_i

Mr. Burgess said that the conspirators were planning to crack jokes of dubious taste at several locations around the Island in an attempt to sow mass panic amongst the citizenry. “No modern democracy post 9/11 would or should, take such jokes lightly or in jest,” said Mr. Burgess. Those arrested allegedly included a Digicel employee who was planning to identify the Premier’s cell phone, currently being repaired by the company, as “that one that the Israelis sent us”; a worker at the Bermuda Aquarium who was to tell co-workers about training a stingray to “do a Steve Irwin” on the Premier next time he went swimming; and an airline pilot who was to joke about ejecting his aircraft’s bathroom waste over the Premier’s residence.

Mr. Burgess alleged that the members of the group were also responsible for starting the rumours about the tsunami that caused panic among some residents a couple of weeks ago.

Dr. Brown said that he was “deeply saddened” to learn that Bermuda had become the latest battleground in the war on terror. He said that a non-fly zone would be established over his residence and that a Presidential Body Double and Presidential Cell Phone Answerer would be appointed as soon as possible.

Comments

[Uncle Elvis on 23.12.06 at 11:47]

"...and an airline pilot who was to joke about ejecting his aircraft’s bathroom waste over the Premier’s residence"

Well, as you know, airplanes fly rather high in the air, where the temperature is rather low, which would freeze the "bathroom waste".

And, as we all know, dropping an icy BM on foreign soil is considered an act of war.

My apologies and fondest best wishes for the season. Enjoy the long weekend, all.

[Martin on 23.12.06 at 12:23]

As I am between jobs at the moment, could I have the Presidential Cell Phone Answerer position please?

It seems unlikely that I could be the P's double...for somewhat obvious reasons.

[Foxy Brown on 23.12.06 at 13:40]

Limey...please tell me this part of some comedy blog you are starting??

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 14:16]

Limey, I know you are jesting here, but seriously, there are some jokes one just doesn't do. It is like the old adage about freedom of speech within reason, in that one can say what one wants, but one shouldn't yell 'fire' in a crowded cinema. In the US or the UK a chef having said something along the line of what the Elbow Beach chef said would have been quietly whisked away by the secret service, and if a non-citizen very likely deported. The guy should have known better, and quite frankly I don't think the government has overreacted here. Even had the police burst in and arrested the chef right there and then it would not have been an overreaction as I see it. It is likely an analysis would have revealed the guy was harmless, though a bit foolish. As a Bermudian he might have had a social report ordered and given a severe reprimand and fired. As a non-Bermudian, and having resigned, his deportation was warranted. Having said that he was not necessarily deported, but escorted off the island, which is quite wise as there are a few Bermudians who might have roughed him up for his insult to our countries leader.

For the record, and call me a party pooper if you want, but I find your humour on the Palestine situation and the tragic death of Steve Irwin as extremely distasteful. The joke about the airplane waste is simply juvenile. As for the tsunami scare, I am convinved it was a UBP ploy. :)

[JJ on 23.12.06 at 16:54]

The governments's reaction might have been more understandable and justified if the waiter, to whom the joke was aimed, had IMMEDIATELY, alerted the authorities to what he truly believed was an attempt to poison the Premier. Clearly he knew it was a joke, continued to serve the food, and only the next day (or some time after) decided to throw the guy under a bus and call the RG. What was he reporting? The fact that someone made a joke at worK? This nonsense about post 911, need for increased security blah, blah is BS. I think making a joke about poisoning food is perhaps not the best type of humour to indulge in if one is an executive chef, but all this bollocks emanating from Derek Burgess is just that......bollocks.

Limey you are lucky that you are not on a work permit. You'd have been banished a while ago.:-)

[Lost in Flatts on 23.12.06 at 17:15]

J Starling - Good points about the Secret Service in the US, I know they just popped on the doorstep of some clear al quaeda-sympathising 14 year old girl that had the audacity to say something bad about his lordship, W. Now that's a worthwhile use of government taxes. Anyway, I wonder if you agree then, with Stalinst russia, where such a comment would certainly have see the chef, erm, fired.

I hope Ewart feels safer now that this clear threat has been eliminated. Thank God our fearless leader is again bubble wrapped in security goodness. By the way, comparisons with heads of state aren't entirely fair, as much as it pains him, he still ain't the presider and chief over Bermuda. Give him time.

Oh and I've asked Santa for you, but I'm not sure if he can put together a sense of humour at such late notice. Come on people have a laugh!!!

[loki on 23.12.06 at 17:22]

I'm with JJ 100%. It was a joke, everyone concerned knew it was a joke, which is why there wasn't a security alert. This has more to do with people getting unreasonably bent out of shape at what was perceived as a swipe at Ewart Brown than it does with any concern over his safety. Have any of you actually watched what goes on in a professional kitchen? Believe me, there's all manner of off-colour humour, testosterone-fueled banter and generally bad behaviour. It's a hot, sweaty, high-stakes, pressurized environment and, yes, chefs have been known to make all manner of comments, offensive or otherwise to let off steam. Derek Burgess's gramatically-challenged press release is nothing short of a fucking joke: is he really equating a stupid, off-colour remark with terrorism?

Oh, and another thing: the chef's quip about giving Ewart Brown "the plate with the arsenic on it" was so outrageous and offensive that he needed to be effectively deported immediately, but Alex Scott's public quip of a couple of months back, after Ewart Brown announced his leadership challenge, that he was going to watch what Ewart was putting in his prescriptions is perfectly innocent? Why wasn't Ewart outraged by the slanderous accusation that he could be poisoning the then Premier? Both quips were jokes, were understood by all associated and all who heard them to be jokes, but one gets you deported and the other polite titters in a press conference. What's the difference? Oh, I forgot, the guy that was deported was a white expat.........

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 17:43]

JJ - Your argument in no way mitigates the severity of the offence that the Chef did indeed committ in suggesting the Premeir's food had been poisoned with arsenic.

It is pretty well confirmed that the chef did indeed make this comment. It is also known that he would have been in a position to actually poison the food. I agree he doesn't appear to have any motive (and have stated that I believe he WAS just joking). Nonetheless, even joking about murdering anyone is pretty much a social taboo, and I beleive is a criminal offence (it can constitute a threat on anothers life). Joking about an elected official, and a country's leader is generally more serious, and making a similar joke for the US President, the UK Prime Minister, or even the Queen, would warrant an arrest. The chef's undenied ability to have poisoned the food makes the joke/threat even more serious.

Either you affirm that threatening anothers life, particularly a political leader warrants a criminal offence of at least a reprimand, or you think its perfectly fine. Which is it?

That the waiter didn't mention it to the media/authoritites right away is neither here nor there as to the seriousness of the joke/threat. It is immaterial.

One can however excuse his actions as one of at first thinking it was a joke, albeit in poor taste, and then on further reflection over time, deciding that it was at least border line criminal, and then acting.

As for the 'bollock emanating from Derrick Burgess,' he is actually correct and more or less reading from the criminal code and general police practice, especially in this post-911 world.

It totally blows me away that there are people who are trying to excuse the actions of this chef. A joke like that warrants a negative reaction, and it is totally indefensible. Think about it! Could you make that joke about the President without expecting repercussions? Could one joke about bombing a plane in an airport without expecting repercussions?

[SmokingGun on 23.12.06 at 17:56]

Hmmm... very good point JJ. Ze vaiter is actually either a complete idiote or moron or he is complicit in ze whole affair and should also be hauled in for interrogation. Ze Burgess Brigade should be on ze look-out for all possible suspects and be suspicious of anyone who in any way, shape or form shows signs of a sense of humour.

The leader of our free nation must be protected at all costs. Even from his own supporters apparently.

Funny thing is when I waited tables we always tracked meals by the position people sat at the table. The fact that the waiter even pointed out which plate was for the "Premier" shows a lack of security and in future it might be advisable to make sure someone follows the wait-staff and kitchen staff at all times just in case something fishy ends up in the chowder.

Seriously though, kitchens are notorious for being full of wise acres. Yes it was tad foolish for the chef to make light of things in that manner, especially given how we know how sensitive our leaders and their followers can get, but it was really foolish of the waiter to actually serve the food if he or she really thought there might be the slightest of intent to harm someone. And for Burgess and Caines to implement such an overly dramatic and ridiculous response only makes one think we need to keep our ears open for the jackboots in the drive or our Prem fancies himself in the same league as Bush.

Well politically we are in the bush-leagues but let's just hope no-one accidently pukes up in his lap. Or does. ;-)

(Full disclosure: That was a joke.)

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 18:01]

Loki:

1) Your attacks on Derrick Burgess's public speaking ability is as juvenile as people attacking Wayne Furbert's pronounciation. Grow up.

2) Is threatening to assasinate a political leader a form of terrorism or not? Burgess is not equating joking with terrorism but a threat to assasinate a leader. Whether it was a joke or not is immaterial.

3) Why make this issue racial? Does everyhting have to be about race on this site? Had the chef been black, his comment would have been the same. Or perhaps, going wih your race thing, a white guy threatening to assasinate a political leader is only joking, but a black guy is serious? I know your not arguing that, but hey, you threw in the whole race thing here after all.

Lost in Flatts:

Perhaps we have not discussed this, and it is off topic, but I consider your comment near slander (I have no humour today because of this absurd defence of threatened assasinations). I am very much opposd to Stalinism. I see Stalinism as the triumph of a counter-revolution in the USSR, and equate it more or less with Fascism. The slogan of the revolution was 'All power to the Councils (the Russian is 'Soviet) of Workers and Soldier's Deputies' - not 'All power to the Bolsheviks.' The subordination of the councils to the Bolsheviks led directly to the triumph of bureacratic collectivism and the rise of Stalinism, which resulted in the liquidation of many honest people who 'think like me' in that they supported the gains of the revolution but opposed the rise of facsist Stalinism. Please review the history of Alexandra Kollontai and the Workers' Opposition, or Trotsky's 'The Revolution Betrayed.' As this is off topic I will leave off on this educational lesson, and hope you will too.

[Foxy Brown on 23.12.06 at 18:13]

Ok..now that I have read all the comments I realise it wasn't a joke after all. Maybe the food poisoning thing was cause for concern but seriously...the airline pilot dumping waste on the PM's roof being taken seriously was well worth a laugh! Now the PM wants a body double and a double phone answerer? Is this serious or is Limey just putting that in for humour? Excuse me but is this Cuba? Or has Putin relocated? It's only Castro and Putin (and probably soon Chavez) who does those sort of things! I mean seriously...I think someone has an overinflated ego or something....and Limey probably won't even print this:)). This is sounding like the Cayman Islands where a wife used to be able report her husband's foreign lover to immigration for destroying the family and the lover is given 72 hours to pack!

[loki on 23.12.06 at 18:16]

"1) Your attacks on Derrick Burgess's public speaking ability is as juvenile as people attacking Wayne Furbert's pronounciation. Grow up."

It was a prepared statement, and any Minister who wishes to make overblown, pretentious and pompous prepared statements should really make sure that the statement is written properly. Is that too much to ask of our 'leaders'?

"2) Is threatening to assasinate a political leader a form of terrorism or not? Burgess is not equating joking with terrorism but a threat to assasinate a leader. Whether it was a joke or not is immaterial."

he did no such thing. Joking to a third party in advance that the Premier's plate has arsenic on it is not a threat to do harm. Read up on the Criminal Code and applicable case law, both from Bermuda and the UK before you start pontificating on the niceties of criminal law (as you did in your initial response to law).

"3) Why make this issue racial? Does everyhting have to be about race on this site? Had the chef been black, his comment would have been the same. Or perhaps, going wih your race thing, a white guy threatening to assasinate a political leader is only joking, but a black guy is serious? I know your not arguing that, but hey, you threw in the whole race thing here after all."

If you seriously think that the chef would have been treated in the same fashion, if he were a black Bermudian, I have a bridge that I can sell you. Go back and read everything that was stated on this issue prior to Derrick Burgess's statement. No mention of a security risk. No mention of terrorism. It was said that the staff were 'offended'. This has everything to do with putting a white expat in his place. I'm sorry, but I've seen this kind of bullshit too many times in the hotel and restaurant industry not to believe that that is precisely what is going on.

[loki on 23.12.06 at 18:24]

J Starling,

I really, truly do not mean this as an insult (really), but have you had a few swift ones this evening, prior to writing your comments? The singular lack of humour and over the top response to the other comments seems, well, a little Claret-fueled.

[JJ on 23.12.06 at 18:31]

"Is threatening to assasinate a political leader a form of terrorism or not?"

Yes of course it is. But that's not what happened here. The waiter asked which plate was for the Premier. The chef said something like "the one with the arsenic". Hah hah geddit? joke right?
He did not threaten the premier at all. I would have hoped that if he had done so the waiter would have immediatley raised the alarm, and rightly so. No one here is suggesting that threats to people's lives are acceptable. This is clearly not th case. the incident was reported as an after thought.

What things do you find funny JS in your day to day life in jolly old Bermuda?. The Three Stoodges? Making jokes at work is what enables people to manage working under pressure. I have already said that it is probably not the best thing to joke about as a chef, but lets get a grip on reality here folks.

As for what goes on in the States, Hve you ever watched a Bill Maher show?

[Two Cents on 23.12.06 at 18:49]

"I find your humour on the Palestine situation and the tragic death of Steve Irwin as extremely distasteful. The joke about the airplane waste is simply juvenile".

Jonathan, You really need to lighten up, this piece was obvious irony, I believe your heart is in the right place in almost all of your other arguments, but in this case LIGHTEN UP !! You're way too young to be that excitable over Limey's irony.

To All My Fellow Bloggers Happy Holidays and Best Wishes to you & yours for 2007. Phil keep up the good work !!!!

[Phil on 23.12.06 at 19:09]

Foxy

I think you missed the irony point.

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 19:31]

"1) Your attacks on Derrick Burgess's public speaking ability is as juvenile as people attacking Wayne Furbert's pronounciation. Grow up."
It was a prepared statement, and any Minister who wishes to make overblown, pretentious and pompous prepared statements should really make sure that the statement is written properly. Is that too much to ask of our 'leaders'?
[The same could be said about WFurbert concerning the reading of the Reply to the Throne Speech, and other legislation. In a prior thread WF’s pronunciation became an issue of derision by PLPers. I think its juvenile either way.]

"2) Is threatening to assasinate a political leader a form of terrorism or not? Burgess is not equating joking with terrorism but a threat to assasinate a leader. Whether it was a joke or not is immaterial."
he did no such thing. Joking to a third party in advance that the Premier's plate has arsenic on it is not a threat to do harm. Read up on the Criminal Code and applicable case law, both from Bermuda and the UK before you start pontificating on the niceties of criminal law (as you did in your initial response to law).
[The chef stated that the Premiers plate was the one with arsenic. I have said I reckon the fellow was joking. One could make the same joke about the US President in the same situation – do you honestly think the secret service agents would have laughed it off? I cannot access the Bermuda Laws Online site at the moment. However I do know roughly what it says about treason and sedition. Now, would threatening to assassinate a political leader be equal to a form of terrorism or not? Also, joking about hijacking a plane while on said plane, would that or would that not cause you to be charged with terrorism offences? Joking is immaterial in this context.]

"3) Why make this issue racial? Does everyhting have to be about race on this site? Had the chef been black, his comment would have been the same. Or perhaps, going wih your race thing, a white guy threatening to assasinate a political leader is only joking, but a black guy is serious? I know your not arguing that, but hey, you threw in the whole race thing here after all."
If you seriously think that the chef would have been treated in the same fashion, if he were a black Bermudian, I have a bridge that I can sell you. Go back and read everything that was stated on this issue prior to Derrick Burgess's statement. No mention of a security risk. No mention of terrorism. It was said that the staff were 'offended'. This has everything to do with putting a white expat in his place. I'm sorry, but I've seen this kind of bullshit too many times in the hotel and restaurant industry not to believe that that is precisely what is going on.
[And here then you display your bias. It is you, not I that is making this racial.]

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 19:39]

Loki:

I find nothing funny about the Isreal-Palestine tragedy. The cycle of violence there needs stopped. You might find it funny or something to laugh about. I find your humour twisted, degenerate and sick. As an Aquarist and Biologist, apart from Limey’s obvious attempt to frame me as an attempted assassin (fortunately we have no sting rays), I also see nothing funny in the tragic fluke accident of Steve Irwin’s death. I too find that sick and degenerate. I highly doubt I am alone on this. And here another bit of slander on my good name, insinuating I am a drunkard!! But seriously, is it I, who finds it shocking that people are trying to defend this chef for joking about killing an elected leader of my country that has a lack of humour or seems claret fuelled, or those who see nothing wrong with it? And by the way, I like Rioja. Or Guinness. Claret tastes horrible as far as I’m concerned.

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 19:49]

JJ --> "Is threatening to assasinate a political leader a form of terrorism or not?"
Yes of course it is. But that's not what happened here. The waiter asked which plate was for the Premier. The chef said something like "the one with the arsenic". Hah hah geddit? joke right?

JS --> HAHA! You are totally missing the point. Threatening to assassinate a political leader, albeit in jest, was exactly what happened here. Can you seriously excuse it, or think that one could do that to the US President, or the Pope, or any head of state or important political leader and not have a reaction?

JJ --> He did not threaten the premier at all. I would have hoped that if he had done so the waiter would have immediatley raised the alarm, and rightly so. No one here is suggesting that threats to people's lives are acceptable. This is clearly not th case. the incident was reported as an after thought.

JS --> I have not yet seen any evidence that it was reported as an afterthought. This appears to be hearsay, and one could equally argue that it was reported right away. HOWEVER this point is immaterial.

JJ --> What things do you find funny JS in your day to day life in jolly old Bermuda?. The Three Stoodges? Making jokes at work is what enables people to manage working under pressure. I have already said that it is probably not the best thing to joke about as a chef, but lets get a grip on reality here folks.

JS --> I make jokes at work, but not about killing people. And besides, reality is the chef was spoken to by the Hotel management. Following this, he resigned. I seriously doubt any other hotel or establishment would hire the individual in Bermuda. He no longer had a reason to stay in Bermuda. Quite frankly, he’s lucky he wasn’t prosecuted. I reckon he made a really big mistake, and he probably feels quite sorry for it all (not to mention stupid). Too bad.

[RB on 23.12.06 at 19:51]

Shouldn't Ewie be more worried about why someone would make a joke like that in the first place?

[J Starling on 23.12.06 at 19:58]

Two Cents. There are things that should be joked about and made fun of, but joking about killing an elected leader is not one of them. Nor is the Palestine tragedy, or the death of Steve Irwin. There are many people who will be shocked at such jokes. I am among them. We all have freedom of speech, and I would die defending such rights, but one also must be responsible, and practice compassion and empathy for your fellows. One does not joke about killing someone. One might do say so in anger, in the heat of the moment, and I myself once wished W Bush had choked on his pretzel, but I was wrong to do so, and ultimately, it is a mistake to think US imperialism would cease just because Bush were to. I was not really attacking Limey’s irony. That is why I added the joke about the tsunami scare being a UBP ploy. But the joke about poisoning the Premier was justly dealt with, and I was attacking those who think it is okay to make such a joke. Happy holidays.

[Two Cents on 23.12.06 at 20:05]

I'll bet you that the 'waiter' in question was some little weasel who;

(a) Didn't like the way that The Chef talked to him.
(b) Was looking to impress/kiss the ass of The Premier or some Gov't Minister/official etc with his concern over the Premier's well being.

No doubt by next week the waiter in question will be employed at the Premier's Offical Food Taster, Ass Kisser, or Knob Polisher, I'd watch for the official announcement soon, probably before New Years, in actual fact he has probably already been nominated for New Years Honors for saving the Premiers life.

[Foxy Brown on 23.12.06 at 21:18]

Sorry Limey.....I don't recall seeing that link but i just read it. Honestly...I just don't understand that level of thinking where someone may make a wisecrack and be deported for it. I beleive that some form of investigation should have been carried out..There has to be more than just kicking a man's azz out overnight because he made a "sick" joke....and by the way....i say this because where i come from....we do observe the freedom of speech....many times over people say things about our politicians...but that comes with the territory...if you don't want to hear any bad news then stay out of politics...I am not Bermudian so i will reserve any further comment on this matter...but i must say..the situation is quite funny....and it makes ME realise that i could NEVER live on a very small island...There are far more serious world issues to deal with and Bermuda is stuck in a "who shot John?" mode....one would think that Bermuda was some center for world development...

[loki on 23.12.06 at 23:03]

J Starling,

Whatever you do, don't ever open a comedy club, as your comedy litmus test excludes pretty much every great comic of the last forty years:

Lenny Bruce
George Carlin
Richard Pryor
Chris Rock
Jim Norton
Louis CK
Bob Saget
Bill Hicks
Ben Elton
Sarah Silverman

- to name but a few. You might possibly invite the Marx Brothers, but they're dead. Then there's Charlie Chaplin, but he's dead, as well. Also, he spoofed Hitler in "The Great Dictator", so I suppose he'd be deemed potentially offensive to Jews.

[32n64w on 24.12.06 at 07:31]

J Starling

It's good to see the Premier has increased his personal staff from 3 to 4 with your newly anointed "unofficial defender of the Presidential realm" status. I trust it comes with a new car?

But seriously (or not ... depending on your personal sensitivities), take a deep breath , let go your political biases … exhale … close your eyes and imagine it was Furby in the same situation. Come on ... you can do it ... I see that smile trying to form. Now laugh, if only for a second.

Taking our leaders that seriously (especially since their idea of "the button" is an oversized ATM with a Ministry of Finance issued debit card) is giving them way too much credit. They're only human after all and as we've seen many, many, many times before, capable of producing their very own personal blunders and offensive remarks.

Putting them up on that imaginary pedestal only serves to heighten an already oversized ego. Be careful ... give them any more reason to encourage further huffing and puffing and they might just explode.

[Raptor on 24.12.06 at 10:38]

I read Limey’s “Terror Alert” yesterday--and saw the Irony Point right away. Certainly, I can understand the desire to examine what happened to Chef Reynolds, but I found the irony “jokes” disturbing. The only part I found funny was that we may all enjoy blaming the “tsunami” on one party or another.

To start with, I agree with what happened to Reynolds. His behaviour was unacceptable and indefensible. I can see Limey is trying to portray the response as an over-reaction to a joke. Limey goes off into more “jokes” about planned/potential violence-- the Israeli cell phone bomb, Steve Irwin’s sad stabbed-in-the-heart death, and then pathetic teenage humour about bathroom waste.

Chef Reynolds was not doing an act in a comedy club, he was working as a professional, and that’s where he let himself down. I have full appreciation of those who work in high-pressure environments, but frankly I’ve not heard many of them talk the way Reynolds did. I know that if any of my friends had idly used threatening language about their boss or a customer, it would have been taken very seriously.

I agree with J. Starling: “There are some jokes one just doesn’t do.” And I agree with J. Starling about finding aspects of the “humour” in this posting “extremely distasteful.” We live in an environment where a Governor and his Aide were shot to death, where violence has increased in our society, and where we’re practically strip-searched to get on an airplane. It is all the more reason to use care. There is a real place for humour, but there also needs to be a basic level of respect underneath it all. Frankly, I believe this kind of post undermines Limey’s efforts to create a meaningful cultural dialog. Have you noticed how many posters have been missing from the site lately? Perhaps there are aspects of growing up in Bermuda that are missed and not clearly understood, such as the effects of segregation and colonialism, which have obviously impacted most on black Bermudians, but also in other ways on whites. But to get back to Chef Reynolds' words about arsenic in the Premier’s food, I am amazed that what he said is being defended in the name of humour.

I have no trouble laughing my head off at something funny—I do it all the time, and I’m sure J.Starling does the same, but Reynolds' was not funny. Whether you like it or not, Reynolds’ statement falls more under the category of “threat” than of “humour.” Like J.Starling, I agree that Reynolds was not out to kill the Premier, but what would he like to do instead, mess with his food, just make him a little sick? Who knows?

J.Starling writes: “Either you affirm that threatening another’s life, particularly a political leader warrants a criminal offence of at least a reprimand, or you think its perfectly fine. Which is it?”

I'm not surprised Reynolds was fired by his employers.

J.Starling speaks the truth, and the truth trumps humour. And this post fails by bringing the dialog down to sorry levels.

[Phil on 24.12.06 at 11:02]

Raptor

I was attempting to parody Derrick Burgess' assertion that Mr. Reynolds' wisecrack needed to be taken more seriously because of 9/11.

We may differ on whether Mr. Reynolds' comment was funny, but I hope we can agree that he's no terrorist. I find Mr. Burgess' use of 9/11 to justify the Government's reaction to this "threat" as far more distasteful than anything Mr. Reynolds said.

[SmokingGun on 24.12.06 at 11:13]

"JS --> I have not yet seen any evidence that it was reported as an afterthought. This appears to be hearsay, and one could equally argue that it was reported right away. HOWEVER this point is immaterial."

Hmmm.... so this can only mean one of two things. The stupid fool's going to either drop dead before christmas or we've got a moron running our country. What kind of idiot knowingly ingests poisons?
He ate the food didn't he?

Seriously JS - millions of dollars are made every year by people who make light of "assasinations" of political and world leaders. The guy made a mistake joking about our P with someone he obviously thought had a sense of humour and could be trusted not to harm a guest. If I were the Premier I'd have been happy to accept an apology and moved on. The emabarrasment caused to the chef (and the waiter who "knowingly" served me the food) would have been enough punishment.

[newbie on 24.12.06 at 13:01]

I can only assume that the person who reported the chef had, what can only be described as, 'a laughing gear failure'!!!

[Two Cents on 24.12.06 at 13:07]

Loki,

The fact that you included Bob Saget in your list of "every great comic of the last forty years" leaves me absolutely speechless, you might as well have included Jay Mohr (they both suck equally in my opinion).

All that aside Loki Merry Christmas to you & your Mrs.(I'll just say Mrs. Loki).

Best,

Two Cents

[Graeme Outerbridge on 24.12.06 at 15:08]

Hope everyone can enjoy their Xmas turkey without any bombs or arsenic in them^..^

[loki on 24.12.06 at 15:50]

"Loki,

The fact that you included Bob Saget in your list of "every great comic of the last forty years" leaves me absolutely speechless, you might as well have included Jay Mohr (they both suck equally in my opinion).

All that aside Loki Merry Christmas to you & your Mrs.(I'll just say Mrs. Loki).

Best,

Two Cents"

Two Cents,

Go to youtube.com and look up some of Bob Saget's stand up, or watch the DVD of "The Aristocrats". Without a doubt, Bob Saget is one of the most brutal, foul and non-PC comedians you will ever see. He is well known on the US comedy circuit for being one of the most brutal comedians EVER. The joke is that most of the general public can't believe how foul his stand up is, whereas most comedians on the circuit cannot believe that he ever did a family-oriented sitcom. Trust me, the guy KILLS.

[Steve Moffat on 24.12.06 at 15:53]

I hear Gordon Ramsay's coming here to sort them all out!!!!i

[J Starling on 24.12.06 at 17:05]

Loki : Actually Charlie Chaplin is an idol of mine. However, I feel you are missing the point. Had this been a routine in the Um Um Show or down at Bootsie’s Comedy Club, then sure, I wouldn’t expect the comedian to be deported – but I wouldn’t expect him/her to be applauded either. As Raptor helped to qualify, the guy was in a professional environment , not a comedy club; additionally he WAS in a position to actually have put arsenic in the food. As I’ve said repeatedly, I feel the guy was joking; but his disciplining by his management and subsequent resignation (and thus termination of his work permit), is relatively light punishment. You seem to be arguing oranges while I am arguing apples. A joke itself can be harmless, or at least offensive; but in the context it could have been taken as a threat and was decidedly unprofessional and borderline criminal.

32n642: What kindergarten behaviour! Yes, I am PLP. Am I defending the Premeir because he is PLP or because he is the elected leader of my country? I would hope that I would take the same line here had it been a UBP Premier. I for one can imagine a whole number of UBPers getting upset should someone threaten to assassinate one of their leaders. But I can see a whole bunch of Bermudians and others as a whole also condemning such a threat. I find it funny that you seem to imply that it is only because the Premeir is PLP that I oppose threatening his life. I wonder who it is here that is displaying bias?

Limey: I think it is reasonable to think that in a post-911 world were legislation was tightened up and new legislation drawn up as a reaction to the terrorist attacks (and for the record I think much of the legislation such as fingerprinting all non US citizens at airports, recording library book borrowing, increased telecommunications espionage, detention of suspects without trial and the like are at the very least proto-fascist) a threat, however ‘innocent’ by someone in a position to actually execute such a threat (regardless of motive) would have been acted on with greater severity than in the pre-911 era. Again, as much as I find the ‘jokes’ about Irwin’s death and the Mossad illegal (as in contrary to the Geneva convention and international law) methods of assassination to be distasteful, I was more shocked that some people were/are trying to defend the Chef’s actions and portray the result as an overreaction.

[Casual Observor on 24.12.06 at 19:36]

I'm joining the convo pretty late in the game, but I agree wholeheartedly with JS and Raptor. Although I do not believe that there was any serious threat here, the fact of the matter as haw been pointed out, is that the chef was acting in his professional capacity. The joke was in poor taste given the chef's position of trust and as he resigned from his position, his deportation was warranted.

You can bet your bottom dollar that had it been Bush or Blair instead of Brown, the same sort of action would have been taken.

[Carol Shuman on 25.12.06 at 00:41]

Agree with JS Raptor and Casual Observer. Threats against the country's leader are not only inappropriate, but illegal, in civilized places. In the U.S., verbalizing a threat against W gets one a year in jail and a fine. Some things just aren't funny.

[LaVerne Furbert on 25.12.06 at 08:35]

I do not expect you to include my comments on your blog as I see that you only allow a few token bloggers who defend this Government and Premier of this country. However, I feel it incumbent on me to remind you of a few things, because I believe that you have overstepped your boundaries with your posting entitled “Terror Alert”.

Firstly, although you are married to a Bermudian, you need to be reminded that permission for you to work in Bermuda is still at the behest of the Minister of Immigration and Labour (the Hon. Derrick Burgess, JP, MP). Please refer to the Immigration and Protection Act to confirm this.

I understand that your wife is a teacher at Francis Patton Primary School. Would she (and you, and her parents and friends) consider it a “joke” if the students that she teaches said that they have put arsenic in her lunch bag? Would she (and you, her parents and friends) find it funny if her students had told her that they have trained stingrays “to do a “Steve Irvin” on her the next time she went swimming? Would it be a joke if they said that they had trained the stingray to do a Steve Irvin on her husband and son as well when they went swimming?

Would Mrs. Wells, the teacher, of primary school students, consider it a joke, if her students told her that they had asked an airline pilot to eject his aircraft’s bathroom waste on her home where she lives with her husband and son Aiden?

Further, I don’t know where you work, as you don’t make the information public, but would the CEO of your company be pleased with you if you made the same comments about him as you have made about the Premier of this country?

Just in case it has gone from your consciousness, you should be aware that the Premier, the Hon. Dr. Ewart Brown has a family and friends, both in Bermuda and abroad, and we are offended by your latest remarks concerning him. In fact, most right thinking Bermudians are offended by your constant belittling of the members of this Government.

Your attempt at humour is sick and I would suggest that because you are so disgusted with the way that this country is run presently, even though you have no idea how it was run prior to June 2003 when this Government allowed you to take up residence in Bermuda, that you pack your bags and head back to Merry Olde England so that you will no longer be a limey in Bermuda.

LaVerne Furbert

P.S. I do intend express this opinion in the Workers Voice and any other newspaper that will print it.

[Copper on 25.12.06 at 10:40]

Did anyone arrest that TV evangelist when he advocated that the President of Venezuela be assassinated? No, and he was serious. Take a pill people. Gestapo tactics go to further prove that we are living in a third world country.

Yes the Chef should have been shown the door, but busting down his door and escorting him out of the country is completely over the top.

And the waiter who just cost me my extremely good Executive chef would be on his way out the door right after he cleaned every toilet in the hotel with his tongue.

[swingig on 25.12.06 at 12:54]

LaVerne relax it's Christmas feel the love and I believe all blogger's wish our Premier all the best always he is our leader and I respect his position. You should respect other's sense of humor and freedom of speech and enjoy our wonderful country were not Cuba yet!! Merry Christmas to all.

[SmokingGun on 25.12.06 at 13:51]

LaVerne - as a Bermudian who cares deeply about all Bermudians, and that includes you as well as our premier, I would like to say just one thing. Not just lighten up but also open your eyes and ears to the reality of today.

Just the mere fact that you can come on here and post your opinion is living proof that you have the right to be heard. I am sure many will see things just the way you present them. In fact I have some close friends and family who probably agree with some of the things you say. They are fearful that Limey upsets too many people and gets everyone upitty and that's not a good thing for such a small place as Bermuda. Well guess what, I for one and I'm sure many others disagree and find it absolutely great that Limey has created a forum for you, me and even Doc Brown, should he wish, to actually "talk". I don't consider the Worker's Voice or the RG or MO or Sun real avenues of discussion, merely just static bill-boards controlled by certain people.

Here we have something different. We have real and open, honest discourse. Would you rather find out the facts of life after the fact or before they directly affect you? Are you aware that certain people in our government somehow manage to own multiples of properties both locally and in foreign lands and yet we have a dire shortage of housing for some of most needy citizens? Will you read about that in the Workers Voice?

And as far as the issue of Limey's sense of humour - OK maybe it's distasteful to some. Not every comedian gets a laugh at every joke. Obviously the chef's joke wasn't found to be funny either. Although I do find it humorous and still find fault with the waiter for obviously not giving a hoot about the P by still serving him the "Arse-nicked" food. But in the grand scheme of things I think the reaction by Burgess/Caines was over-kill. But guess what LaVerne, that's just my opinion and I do not expect you to agree with it.

But one thing I do expect is this: Now that you have personally taken it upon yourself to publicly announce the location that Limey's wife works and intend to have it published in the Workers Voice that you will be the first to take responsibility and apoligise should she or the school get harrasing phone calls from the readers of the Worker's Voice.

[Foxy Brown on 25.12.06 at 18:13]

I am so happy that someone addressed that letter to the Limey....and happy the Limey printed it too. Anyone who has the time to launch an "anti-Limey" campaign obvisouly has NOTHING to do. Here are a few things the person could do though:

1. Log on to the UN's site and read about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights..especially ARTICLE 19!!

2. Knit a Christmas sweater

3. Be quiet

I don't know why people need to take this to another level...especially to talk about the Limey's wife and profession. Not to mention threaten the Limey that if he doesn't be quiet he could find himself back in England. SO WHAT? Is there something in Bermuda that is being given away that I, as a Jamaican don't know about? Does the Garden of Eden exist there? What's so big about Bermuda? We already know by the letter penned by LaVerne what's so small about the place. Is it the end all and be all? Now what? Do you want to launch a campaign against people because they say what they feel and elicit responses of a similar nature? Please...there are a lot of other things in life to worry about...it really bothers me that someone could email that sort of correspondence...and I am in defence of the Limey!

[Foxy Brown on 25.12.06 at 18:18]

By the way....I agree with Copper...the waiter who repeated that and cost the hotel their executive chef would be out of a job....why would i want a trouble maker working on my property?

[novote on 25.12.06 at 20:33]

"In the US or the UK a chef having said something along the line of what the Elbow Beach chef said would have been quietly whisked away by the secret service, and if a non-citizen very likely deported." - J Starling

J Starling - You are indeed correct.

This is perhaps, because there are many people and organisations in the world, who given the opportunity would not hesitate to poison the head of the UK or US government.

Does anybody seriously think that Ewart Brown is on a hit-list anywhere?

The government is a joke....Ewart Brown is a joke....and the Executive chef at Elbow Beach was making a joke!

Please try to get a little perspective.

[novote on 25.12.06 at 20:42]

La Verne - Reference the last two paragraph's of my last post.

I've only just read your post, but please take note also.

I now sit in eager anticipation of having my right to work here also being withdrawn.

Make my day!

Merry Xmas

[J Starling on 25.12.06 at 20:43]

Okay...This thread seems to be descending into personal attacks. I think what LaVerne was trying to get across was that threatening someone, even in a joke, is offensive and shouldn't be done. She sttempted to do that by showing Limey what it might feel like. And, by the way, Limey announced publily where his wife worked on another thread, I beleive about the BUT strike.

Teeling her to 'Be quiet' is the same thing as shouting her down. That is pathetic, especially after one asserts that we all have the right to voice our opinions in this 'free forum.'

I'll try to be blunt here. Limey and a few others (Loki, twocents, and so on) might think its okay to make jokes about posioning others, especially political leaders. Can they be so foolish not to expect others to be very much opposed to this? The more that it is pressed that it should be laughed off, the more I at least feel even more disgusted with you. No one has seemed to even attempt to answer the questions put forward about whether threatening another is legal or not, or whether doing so to a leader of another country would be cricket. You seem to conveniently sidestep these questions and blab on about those who disagre with you needing a chill pill or to develop some humour - of course these leads at least me to react by saying you need to learn some morals and basic social mores. It is perfectly understandable that some Bermudians will be upset to the point of gtting reactionary and saying that foreigners (Limey, Reynolds, Foxy Brown) have no right to criticise our country and should shut up and put up or leave if they find so much to criticise.

Not all criticism is invalid, and we all need to develop the ability of self-criticism. But honestly, try to do it constructively, listen to what others are saying and reflect on it, practice compassion and understanding for other points of view.

this issue boils down as a moral issue as to whether or not the Chef Reynolds was morally right to have said what he did. Secondly it is a legal question of criminality. Thirdly it is a question of why should we be called third world for our actions when so called first world countries do the same or even more? Foxy Brown, give me a break. What if someone said something derogatory or even threatening about Portia Simpson? What if this person was in a position to actually execute such a threat? Try it out, lets see if the JDF treats you kindly. Report back afterwards. Don't you dare come and bitch about my country when you know perfectly well your country is the same or worse. Jamaica is a beautiful island, great people, lots of potential. If you see problems with my country, voice them constructively or don't voice them at all.

Threads like this will only serve to further polarise our community. It leads to cycle of reaction and stereo-typing. Point blank, don't joke abaout threatening ANYONE. Secondly, don't do so when in a capacity to REALISE the threat. Limey's post is distasteful, but not threatening. Reynolds was distasteful and threatening. Thats all. Theres nothing else. Defending Reynolds is the same as defending the right to threaten anyone, especially a leader. I can't see it any other way.

[Rev. Goat on 25.12.06 at 21:38]

I found Laverne’s points on the possible offensive nature of Limey's post plausible. However I find the veiled threats against his rights to work in Bermuda disgusting.

This is the cancer eating Bermuda, this attitude of who has the right to live and work here.

Why is a portion of the black community so determined at "getting back" at the whites?

In the 1800’s and early 1900's many West Indians emigrated to Bermuda to work, many whites did not want them to stay hence the start of the animosity between the races resulting in political conflict. Now the shoe is on the other foot, the descendants of the West Indian immigrants are now in power and some seek to disseminate the belief that whites are not true Bermudians and should go back home to where they came.

The evolution of mankind is interesting isn’t it?

[Lost in Flatts on 25.12.06 at 21:56]

J Starling - The term you're looking for is 'a real and credible threat'. If you can keep a straight face and tell me that you honestly believe the chef was demonstrating those two attributes, then by all means, continue your delusion.

Any speculation about legality, criminality is moot unless you actually do your research.

[LaVerne Furbert on 25.12.06 at 22:25]

You all just don’t get it do you? It’s all right for you to post nasty things about Premier Brown and Minister Derrick Burgess, and other members of the PLP Government, but it’s not all right for me to defend them. Guess what, they are real, live people just like you. They have real live families and real live friends, just like the Limey and the rest of us. Dr. Brown, Minister Burgess and other members of the Cabinet are not waxed figures in Madame Toussard’s Museum, they are real live people. I take offence when my family and friends are attacked and abused, especially by people who don’t know them and who have formed an opinion by what they read in the local newspapers. I would be willing to bet my last dollar that few of you who post on this site have ever had a conversation with either Dr. Brown or Minister Burgess or anyone else in the PLP Government.

“Just the mere fact that you can come on here and post your opinion is living proof that you have the right to be heard.”

Yes, I have posted my opinion here today, and tomorrow I will still have a job. But there was a time in my life when I gave my opinion publicly and as a result I could not find work in my country. But, thanks to the PLP Government you all can post your opinion, which in the most part in seditious, and you still have jobs.

“Are you aware that certain people in our government somehow manage to own multiples of properties both locally and in foreign lands and yet we have a dire shortage of housing for some of most needy citizens?”

Of course I’m aware that certain people in our government own multiple properties. I’m also aware that certain people not in our government own multiple properties. I’m also aware that most people in Bermuda who own property, including myself, have been able to do so because of hard work and sacrifice. I’m also aware that certain people own multiple properties because they inherited multiple properties. I’m also aware that there were needy citizens prior to November 9, 1998 and I know there will be needy citizens until kingdom comes. That’s life!!
“I now sit in eager anticipation of having my right to work here also being withdrawn.”
It’s not about having your right to work here being withdrawn, it’s about whether or not you want to work here and respect the Government and the people of Bermuda. If you find the Government and the people of Bermuda so unbearable, I would suggest that you find somewhere else to work. Why stay here if you’re so unhappy about the way things are going? Certainly you could be replaced, there are millions of people who would love to live and work in Bermuda. By the way, if you had the courage to post under your real name, I may be able to do something about having your right to work here withdrawn, however because you choose to hide behind the cloak of anonymity there is nothing that I can do about it . Unlike you, today and always, I have always had the courage of convictions, and sign my real name to whatever I write.

Anyway, as I’ve written to Phillip Wells, the PLP will be around for a while longer, so you all need to get used to Premier Brown, Minister Derrick Burgess and the rest of us who support the PLP Government.

LaVerne Furbert

[Phil on 25.12.06 at 22:52]

I think the root of much of the disagreement here is whether you believe the chef was actually threatening to harm Dr. Brown.

I don't believe that he was (if he was, surely he would have been arrested?). If I did, however, I'd agree with much of what Jonathan and Ms. Furbert have written. Making a threat to physically harm Dr. Brown or anyone else, and meaning it, is surely criminal behaviour and cannot be tolerated in a civil society.

9/11 would still have no bearing on it, however.

[novote on 25.12.06 at 23:17]

"I think what LaVerne was trying to get across was that threatening someone, even in a joke, is offensive and shouldn't be done." - J Starling

Really?

Read again her opening comment:

"Firstly, although you are married to a Bermudian, you need to be reminded that permission for you to work in Bermuda is still at the behest of the Minister of Immigration and Labour (the Hon. Derrick Burgess, JP, MP)." La Verne Furbert

If ever I'd read a threat, then this was it.

If there was any doubt, then it was followed by:

"By the way, if you had the courage to post under your real name, I may be able to do something about having your right to work here withdrawn."

Sorry LaVerne, I will not do you the courtesy.

I post under a pseudonym for the benefit of my wife and extended Bermudian family.

Whilst I couldn't give a hoot about living and working here, they do and wouldn't appreciate being on the receiving end of a very Bermudian vendetta.

Your opinion carries no greater weight, because you sign your own name. Equally mine will carry no less, because I don't.

Either readers will be swayed by the argument or they won't.

Threatening people - albeit I don't see the threat as credible....a little like Chef Reynolds' - to ensure their silence is pretty shameful, and ironically a tactic that you've villified yourself.