A Limey In Bermuda

Hurricane-proof housing

Computer-controlled simulators? Bah. If these chaps want to learn something about building hurricane-proof homes, they should take a trip to Bermuda instead.

Filthy

Seriously, what kind of person names their dog "Cess-pit"?

Open mike: Child care in Bermuda

SC writes to relate the difficulty of finding an approved child care provider: "I have been looking for a child care provider, since the Family Services Department is making my sons' sitter decrease her number of kids to three. Unfortunately,...

The rainbow cruise

Last Tuesday, 3,200 gay cruisers landed on Grand Cayman. To greet the visitors in a variety of ways were hundreds of residents who lined the city of George Town streets. They were vocal in one of three ways – “welcome”,...

Blind wedding

Two strangers who won a “blind wedding” in a competition organised by a UK radio station are coming to Bermuda on their honeymoon. “The newlyweds held hands, kissed and revealed that they were looking forward to getting to know each...

The service paradox

An anonymous reader wonders why, since Bermudians are generally polite and conscious of the needs of others, there are so many complaints about poor service. He asks: "If there’s one service, public or private, that we’d like to see transformed,...

Breeding for Bermuda

Ed Ball, general secretary of the Bermuda Public Services Union, is worried about Bermuda's ageing population. He's wondering whether Bermudian women will need to be asked to have more than one child in order to reverse the trend. For God's...

Invisibility sounds good to me too

One of the best and the worst things about living in Bermuda is the lack of anonymity. After you’ve been living here for a while it becomes almost impossible to leave your house without running into someone you know. There...

Sculpting with sand

This year marked the 10th anniversary of Bermuda's annual Sandcastle Competition, which was held at Horseshoe Bay beach yesterday. When I arrived at the beach at 3pm, three-quarters of the way through the alloted construction time, I was disappointed by...

The contradictions of disaster

Royal Gazette Opinion, Thursday 15 September 2005 When hurricane Nate swept past Bermuda last week, bringing only a little rain and a bit of wind, I have to admit I was disappointed. I’d been egging it on since it was...

No donkeys allowed

Sign spotted near Fort Hamilton earlier today.

Incoming

The Bermuda Weather Service is now predicting a direct hit by a slow-moving category one Hurricane Nate on Friday morning. Great. » You can keep up to date with Nate's progress by subscribing to the National Hurricane Center's Nate RSS...

Marketing Gone Wild

A spokesman for $hampain Entertainment, on the decision to call the after-Cup Match party "Girls Gone Wild Cup Match Style": "When it was named, the titled raised a lot of eyebrows, but we want to separate ourselves from the product...

Storm

The thunderstorms returned to St. George's last night. I was waiting with my camera.

Fried

A huge thunderstorm broke over St. George’s early this morning. It was one of those storms where the thunder sounds more like small explosions than the ominous rumblings I’m more accustomed to. My wife, who got out of bed to...

Blackout

Early this morning, a fire in the switching room of BELCO's main power plant in Hamilton resulted in the loss of electricity to most of Bermuda. My wife first noticed something was wrong at around 5am. The air-conditioner in our...

The Bulls, Unveiled

Almost three months ago, I posted about the wonderful origami-style statue of two bulls that appeared outside Bull's Head parking lot last year. Since its installation, however, it's been hidden under a green tarpaulin, apparently waiting on an official unveiling...

Invisible My Arse

And the winner of the 2005 Most Inappropriately-Named Company Award is... OK, so they clearly haven't finished yet, but having had to drive over this mess every day for the last couple of weeks, with no end in sight, the...

I Thought The Weather Here Was Supposed To Be Nice?

I've not lived in Bermuda long enough to become blase about hurricanes. I've certainly not been here long enough to actually look forward to them, as my wife seems to do. I still regard the start of another hurricane season...

And They're Off!

Bermuda Fitted Dinghies race in front of the cruise ship Norwegian Crown in St. George's Harbour yesterday. The 2005 season got off to a bad start with the last two races being cancelled due to high winds. The first and...

Squeezing Out

The Seven Seas Navigator squeezes through the Town Cut on its way out of St. George's harbour yesterday afternoon.

Sailing With Dolphins

Today I went sailing for the first time this year. It was a trip I'll never forget. We’d heard reports that whales had been sighted off the South Shore last week. Although we knew we’d be lucky to see them...

Catch My Fall

Was I the only person a little taken aback by the image on the front page of yesterday's Royal Gazette? The unfortunate private who fainted during Wednesday's Peppercorn Ceremony in St. George's fell flat on his face and broke his...

The View From Above

One of the most fascinating things I've seen in Bermuda is the huge satellite photograph of the Island on display at the Aquarium. On my last visit I spent ages poring over it, trying to pick out my house and...

Proud To Be Bermudian?

This week's poll is actually a short survey which aims to measure the level of national pride in Bermuda. If you are not Bermudian, please do not take it. If you are, you can find the questions here. The questions...

In The Pink

Today I've got my pink shirt on. Wearing pink isn't something I make a habit of, but as my wife and I are going out tonight she suggested I might want to make myself look a bit more appealing than...

Preparing For Good Friday

Home-made kites hang from the ceiling of the Esso Tiger Mart on Par-La-Ville road.

The Bermudian Blogosphere

In the beginning, it was lonely. When this blog started life back in August 2003, it was one of the first Bermuda-based blogs to come into existence. Since then, the number of blogs written by Bermudians, expats living in Bermuda,...

Under Pressure To Pink Up

Royal Gazette Opinion, 17 February 2005 When it comes to tipping, I'm with Mr. Pink. In the classic opening scene of Quentin Tarantino's 1992 movie Reservoir Dogs the would-be robber is sat in a cafe eating breakfast with his partners...

Land Of Confusion

Tourists disembarking at Penno’s Wharf in St. George’s could be forgiven for feeling a little puzzled when confronted by this sign near the cruise ship terminal. It’s true that both routes will get you to the town centre, so the...

Diced

Want to learn about Bermudian culture? Just pay a visit to one of the Island’s many roundabouts. At the Crow Lane roundabout we have Johnny Barnes - ambassador of goodwill, wizard of the wave – symbolising Bermudians’ legendary friendliness. And...

You Say Tsunami, I Say Somalia

Perhaps E. Michael Jones, mayor of St. George’s, should have gone a little easier on the mulled wine. At the old town’s New Year party last night, shortly before midnight the mayor came on stage, accompanied by Governor Sir John...

Boobies

Bermuda is soon to get its first erotic website, sugarandspicemodels.com, featuring photographs of scantily-clad Island girls by local photographer Antwan Albouy. There's disappointingly little to see there right now, with many parts of the site inaccessible or marked as "under...

Attitude Control

Here's another idea for fostering national unity: each night, VSB and ZBM could broadcast a stirring rendition of Hail to Bermuda before the evening news. Oh OK, maybe not.

Goodthink

There’s far too much negativity in our society today, so I’m pleased to learn that the Bermuda Hospitals Board (BHB) wants to rename St. Brendan’s psychiatric hospital to something that suggests wellness rather than illness while eliminating that awful word...

The Sandcastle Competition

Yesterday I spent a fun afternoon up at Horseshoe Bay for the ninth annual sandcastle-building competition. It's the one time of year when it's OK for a grown man or woman to once again grab their bucket and spade and...

Best Before

Bermuda's supermarkets certainly cater to unusual tastes. For locals wishing to build up their immune systems, the Island's grocery stores kindly offer perishable foodstuffs several days beyond their 'sell by' date. Thrill-seekers who enjoy playing Russian Roulette with their health...

No Place Like Home

I've just returned from a two-week trip to the UK and Tuscany, my first holiday of note since moving to Bermuda last year. I wasn't expecting London to have changed much, and it hadn't. But the differences with Bermuda seemed...

Hurricane Season

The 2004 Atlantic hurricane season is finally underway. After forming as a tropical depression on Saturday, then strengthening to a tropical storm, hurricane Alex is now skirting the coast of North Carolina. Fortunately for Bermuda, it’s expected to pass almost...

Ant Season

August is probably the worst time of year for bugs in Bermuda. Even those of us who have our houses regularly sprayed with the most noxious, environmentally-unsound chemicals known to man have to put up with an ant or two...

Spinnakers Up!

Challenger leads the pack as Bermuda fitted dinghies race towards the stake boat Clevelander in St. George's harbour this afternoon. Contest won the first race, with Elizabeth second, Challenger third and Victory bringing up the rear.

The BFG Was Just For Self-Defence, Your Honour

Three cheers for Logic for providing the Island's disaffected youth with an outlet for their violent tendencies that doesn't involve taking a machete down Wellington Oval. On every night except Wednesday next week, PC gamers up for a bit of...

The Glow Worms

Tonight we went to a live sex orgy at Ferry Reach. From June to September, for the three nights following a full moon, Bermuda's glow worms engage in their phosphorescent mating display. Exactly 56 minutes after sunset, in the shallows...

Waiting For Alex

Despite being a month into the official hurricane season, the Atlantic is still waiting for the first storm of the year, Alex, to be born. After being pounded by hurricane Fabian last year and being subjected to gloomy warnings that...

FCUK Complaints

It's taken a little longer than I expected, but the complaints about Bermuda's French Connection store have finally started appearing in the letters to the editor of the Royal Gazette.

Conservation Mode

Bermuda looks like it could be in for a dark, dry summer. This week BELCO have been warning locals to reduce their demand for power lest the Island be affected by rolling blackouts, and a lack of rain over the...

Those In Glass Houses...

There has been much criticism of the Government this week - and rightly so - for the shoddy manner in which it seems to manage the public finances. Parking fines, payroll taxes and pension contributions have gone uncollected, it doesn't...

Happy Birthday, Your Maj

The Queen's real birthday may be April 21st, but today's the day it's officially celebrated. Bermuda and many other countries mark the occasion with a public holiday - something that's always struck me as ironic, given that the UK itself...

One Year On

Today is the first anniversary of my arrival in Bermuda. A year ago today, my then-fiance (now wife) and I stepped off the British Airways flight from London, all our worldly possessions packed into suitcases in the hold or stacked...

One Night Wonder

This evening I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of my first Night-Blooming Cereus. This remarkable vine-like cactus has flowers which bloom for only one night of the year. Beginning to open around an hour after sunset, you can...